The Mysterians - Playing with Space Toys

Oh, the Space Race. That fascinating measuring contest of world history where the USA and USSR said "Oh yeah, well I can do this!" Over and over and over and over again until we stopped caring and then started caring again years later. Outer space is always going to be one of those crazy things about being alive that's always fun, yet kind of intimidating to talk about. I mean, we only truly understand out own cosmic neighborhood, and even then we're never gonna be able to physically stand on a lot of the planets in our Solar System. We really don't know what's going to be beyond our own area of space except for a small amount of things that aren't going to matter in our own lifetime. Space is fascinating, and it is always is going to be. And Toho of course wanted to get their own cut of the outer space sci fi phenomenon. The 50's were an amazing time for science fiction, and it seemed like alien invader movies were EVERYWHERE, especially in the US. The Day the Earth Stood Still, Forbidden Planet, the Thing from Another World, War of the Worlds, the list goes on and on. Tin foil hats were abound and according to filmmakers of the time, it was a matter of minutes before an alien threat came out of nowhere and decided it was time to invade. And Toho's take on the genre is today's movie: the Mysterians.

In the Mysterians, an alien race from the planet Mysteroid have established a base of operations and are on their way to Planet Earth. After demonstrating impressive weaponry at hand with the robot under their control, Moguera, the Mysterians make an ultimatum: give them land and women to reestablish their species, or soon suffer their wrath and increasing power. When humanity refuses, it is now an all out war between the Mysterians advanced technology and the newly formed Earth Defense Force to see who will be the ones to inherit the Earth.

As much as I'd want to praise and be a fan of the Mysterians, it's kind of difficult. I usually like talking about stuff I enjoy in a movie, but this one I find a little harder to enjoy. I do like some of the effects work, that's for sure. But for every effect that's great, it gets muddied by something that's really really bad. Take for example, Moguera. I'm not gonna sit here and lie and say Moguera deserves recognition on par with Godzilla or Rodan. I mean, it doesn't. It's not even the true star of the show. It's just another weapon for the Mysterians to use and attempt to show their might and power. And for that explicit purpose, Moguera doesn't do a bad job. He might look a tad bit silly, but it's still bigger than a lot of other Showa monsters and can even shoot lasers out of his eyes. Because that's just awesome. But, then it gets muddied, like most of the effects due in this movie. You might want to actually look and Moguera and be exciting, because the action really is pretty well directed. But the problem is that Moguera is IRRITATING and never stops making the same exact sound while on screen. I'm not joking. Whenever Moguera is on screen or even nearby in some parts of the movie, he is always beeping. Really obnoxiously beeping. It really pulls away from what's going on on screen when people are running away in terror, tanks are firing missiles and the whole screen is filled with chaos and all you keep hearing is BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP and then it stops because it cuts away and then BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. I actually got happy when Moguera got destroyed, not like with Godzilla and Rodan because the scary threat was taken care and the day was saved, but because the irritating beeping was over. If you want to hear it, the link is right here for you to "enjoy.". I'm not exaggerating. I really do wish I was though.

Eventually, I'm gonna have to talk about them: the Mysterians themselves. Yet again, a good idea and/or concept gets muddied because of not great execution. The Mysterians honestly are a pretty serious lot. They're mutated from nuclear war and 80% of them are born disfigured and scarred from the war they brought upon themselves. The remaining 20% have to live in suits to stay alive and have to live in cold temperatures in order to stay alive. That's a pretty honest and serious backstory, and it only makes sense that Toho would be the ones to make a film about the isolated aliens mutated and scarred by atomic warfare. But for such a serious topic and group of people, their costumes are UNBELIEVABLY cheesy. Now, of course, this was years about 20 years before Darth Vader ever walked onto screen, so we have to lower the expectations for what a life support spacesuit is gonna look like, but I mean, come on. This is pushing the line of silliness even for me. And I'm the guy going out of his way to watch and be okay with some ridiculously cheesy movies. They aren't acted terribly, it's just hard to take seriously.


I don't think the Mysterians knows the kind of movie it's going for. It's not actively trying to be funny, that is for sure, and yet you will inevitably look at a lot of things in this movie and you can't help but laugh. The alien invader genre was pretty well established in 1957, so what it needed was something new. We've seen all the ideas at this point, so trying to make a new one was always going to be tricky. But even despite its goofy nature, I can't say I hate the Mysterians. It makes a lot of odd choices and isn't going down as a classic, but it's not a bad movie by any means. It's just an odd one. If you want a quick watch to pass the time, I say go fot it.

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Well, four movies in, and I'm genuinely very excited! That's because, well, tomorrow's actually a movie I haven't seen yet: Varan. Despite being a monster I like and have been well aware of because of his appearances in the IDW Godzilla comics and his appearance in Godzilla: Unleashed, I've never yet actually seen Varan's debut film. So, make sure to come back tomorrow as we watch Varan, also known as Varan, the Unbelievable!