Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster - Lobster Pun

Okay, so, we've been doing pretty good recently. Between FINALLY getting introduced to Ghidorah and just watching a pretty great film in War of the Gargantuas. Unfortunately however, every good thing has got to come to an end, and this is not exactly in the same vein as those movies. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster as I have always called it, begins an era of these movies that ultimately led into Toho almost fully pulling the plug on kaiju movies forever. Thank goodness that's not what happened, but it is definitely what they were hoping for. So, I'm just going to give a fair warning: if this is one of your more liked Godzilla movies, I can definitely confirm this review is not going to go the way you're hoping. This isn't going to be an exactly glowing review, because I never have viewed it as one of the movies that deserves such. All in all this is probably going to be a bummer for everyone, because if you like it, you'll be upset. And if you hate it, you'll be upset, because I hope this review comes off more as a feeling of "I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed." So, with all that in mind, let's take a very brief look into Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster. 


On the uncharted Letchi Island lives a terrorist organization named the Red Bamboo who produces nuclear weapons and kidnaps natives of Infant Island who spend their days producing a juice to keep the monster, Ebirah, at bay. When recent shipwreck survivors find Godzilla asleep in a cave on the island, a plan is soon set into motion to get the natives off of the Island, and wake up Godzilla in order to take down Ebirah and the Red Bamboo once and for all.


Let's start with some positives. For one of the lesser movies of the series, this one actually has a pretty solid human plot. Helmed by three pretty good performances from Akira Takarada, Akihiko Hirata and Kumi Mizuno, the human action here is actually really strong. What we essentially get with this movie is a Bond-esque film with normal people caught in the middle of an island to island conflict and an evil organization hellbent on ruling the world. Standardly, I don't full go into detail on a lot of the human stories, but this is one of the movies that really deserves it. In particular with Kumi Mizuno as Daiyo (pictured above right). She's not the straight up protagonist of the film, but she is the most interesting character of the good humans in the main cast. An Infant Islander who was kidnapped by the Red Bamboo to help keep Ebirah at bay with the juice they feed it, she breaks free early on and is actually the character that deserves where Godzilla is. She's a big part of the plan to actually waking up, knowing where he is and ultimately having Godzilla build a sort of interest with her because, well, we'll get into that later. But as above you can see her holding a knife. She really doesn't mess around. Mizuno got a lot of really great roles during the Showa, and this will unfortunately be the last performance of hers we'll be seeing for awhile, but Mizuno leaves us with a really solid role to leave her on for awhile. Honestly, all of the main human cast has some pretty solid work to build off of. And honestly, if the movie was a modified version of the script presented in the film, this could have worked a lot better. A good comparison here is Dogora. Interesting concept, interesting genre mix, just not the most amazing execution. Here however, most of the execution is not bad. If the movie's plot wasn't centrally revolved around the actions of and the calming of the monsters, it'd be a pretty interesting and really solid espionage film. But the big issue for the film is just criminal. This movie's monsters really aren't great.

So, as alluded to above, this movie really fails in the monster department. In total, this movie features four total monsters, but this isn't Ghidorah, not by a long short. Sure, Godzilla and Mothra are in it, but that's not exactly a huge positive in this one. The suit used in this movie is infamously ugly, and though it already made its first appearance in Invasion of the Astro Monster, it doesn't get a lot of shots to look very good in this movie. My favorite comment on its appearance was from Cinemassacre's Monster Madness review when he said "Godzilla looks like the Cookie Monster." Which, I will be honest in that I didn't see it until now. But now that I am seeing it, I can definitely confirm I'll never be able to look at him quite the same way. I mean, look up Cookie Monster right now and compare this guy side by side. You will be astonished by how scarily similar they genuinely look comparatively. Godzilla is really REALLY weird in this one, most definitely because of the early production on the film. Originally intended to be a movie starring King Kong and based on the King Kong Show, the movie was changed in development because Rankin/Bass felt it wasn't a proper adaptation of the cartoon they were producing. So Toho swapped out Kong for Godzilla and thus, the movie happened. You watch it and it makes a lot of sense. Between being woken up by lightning, developing interest in Daiyo and even ending the movie by fighting Mothra despite the two previously being on good terms and having last interacted in Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster, it's clear that something is up with this Godzilla. Because this movie wasn't made for him, it just makes everything he does stand out even more than usual. The character just does not fit in the movie. And it really is a shame, because the King of the Monsters shouldn't be relegated to a simple silly role to swap in for another monster who was a swap in for another monster! He doesn't deserve that. He really doesn't belong in the movie, and honestly if Rankin/Bass allowed Toho to keep the lead monster as Kong, the movie PROBABLY would have faired better in the monster department.



Even if Kong was kept or even if Godzilla was better, the movie still would have failed its monsters. The movie introduces two monsters into Toho's backlog, and they are really two of the worst monsters in the entire series. On the left, we have Ebirah, who according to the Japanese title should really be the star of the whole show. But what Ebirah instead ends up being is just as symbol as he looks: just a giant lobster. After the stroke of genius that was Ghidorah, Toho seemed to have a bit of writer's block when it came to creating new monsters. And it really shows here, because Ebirah is just a giant lobster. He does have a good, almost horror introduction of the humans sailing to the island only to be menaced by he giant claw, but no matter what he does, you just can't stop looking at him and being reminded how unbelievably dumb it is that Godzilla is fighting a giant lobster. You see him impale two people like it's a kabob place and it doesn't feels scary or like a declaration of the menace that is Ebirah. It just comes off as "Oh, dang. Giant lobster is the bad guy." The Red Bamboo has another monster under their control, the Giant Condor. Yes, that is its name and it is just as awful as you can imagine. The monster makes a very brief appearance, engaging Godzilla near the end of the movie in what might actually be the worst fight of Godzilla's entire 65 year history. This link will take you to a clip of the "fight", broken up into three parts. It's only about a minute long, but it's so poorly shot and so out of left field, that is cut exactly like a viewer is thinking. Just sitting there going "Whoa, wait, what? Wait, hold on, I said hold on! GIMME A SECOND! STOP, LET ME FOCUS! ENOUGH! I'M DONE, STOP IT! LET ME FOCUS! OKAY, I'M DONE!" And just like that, it's over. Sure, it cuts in to the odd scene of Godzilla being intrigued by Daiyo, but it's so out of nowhere that it feels like they just slapped it in last minute because they wanted another fight.

And last, and in my opinion genuinely least we got Mothra. Oh yeah, I bet you forgot I mentioned Mothra's in this one earlier, huh? Well, surprise surprise. She is, and she just looks like garbage. It's fun to note that this indeed the very same surviving Mothra we were first introduced to at the end of Mothra vs. Godzilla, so here we see a full Mothra life cycle just like that! And it's definitely nice knowing Mothra actually has a purpose in the story. I mean, the inhabitants of Infant Island are being turned into slaves! Imagine you're a benevolent loving god over an island of people and your inhabitants start being treated like garbage to satiate another garbage monster! Mothra definitely has a well thought out point in the movie, getting the natives back to Infant Island, but the look she has in the movie really doesn't do the Queen of the Monsters justice. If Kong looked like roadkill in King Kong vs. Godzilla, then Mothra looks like she's been hit by the windshield of life and the wipers are on to the highest option. All of the monsters in the movie pretty solidly aren't highlights, which is a HUGE problem when the reason you sell tickets for these movies is the monsters. And here, all we get is a Godzilla who look upsettingly stupid, a Mothra who looks ugly and beaten up, and two unoriginal and boring monsters who are boring and don't tend to inspire much for the entire rest of the series.

An interesting human dynamic does not a solid kaiju film make. I wrote earlier about how Dogora was a weird movie, mixing the crime thriller and kaiju genres in a way that isn't perfect, but it tried really hard. This movie tries to be an espionage thriller and a kaiju film rolled into one, and for the first time in maybe this whole review series, the human side is more interesting to watch than the monsters. The unfortunate thing about the movie is that I honestly feel if Kong kept the lead role and just a few script adjustments were made that this one actually could have been decently solid. But instead, what we get is a messy monster movie that gets the half that doesn't need to be right very solidly, while the main draw of the movie is boring, disinteresting and ugly to watch. I think if you want to watch this one then you can definitely say screw it, but this is definitely not one I can recommend. It doesn't have a lot going for it, and I just can't lie and say it's a favorite or anywhere close to my favorite. If you really want to see a lobster that badly, I'll recommend some seafood places for you. Otherwise? These seas are quite dry with this watered down movie.

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Would you believe me if I said tomorrow might get actually worse? Oh yeah. I'm dead serious. Tomorrow is going to be a movie that is upsetting for all. A movie that you either hate, or you REALLY hate. I personally fall into neither of those camps, because I genuinely enjoy Son of Godzilla.