Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla - Pure. Cheese.

This one is just classic. With Godzilla now being 20 years old and nearing the end of his original run, Toho began making an effort to end the series right, and it started right here with Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. After vs. Gigan and vs. Megalon failed to really bring some magic back into the franchise, Toho had a stroke of genius: give the world two Godzillas for the price of one. Throw in Anguirus and another new monster to boot and what you have on your hands is bound to be legendary. While this movie does unfortunately yet again reuse the alien invader trope that was commonly used in the original series, it manages to do enough to escape its unoriginal plot and actually deliver some of the most awesome action, music and some of my favorite human performances of the entire series. I mean it. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla not only introduces us to another one of the best Godzilla monsters and not just one of his main adversaries, it is just exciting in every scene and though cheesy to its absolute core, this is a movie I recommend to anyone, especially people trying to get into the series.

After continuous attacks from new monsters like Gigan, Hedorah and Megalon, the Earth is a little thin defensively, as Godzilla remains as Earth's protector, and the only thing standing between the Earth and total domination. And it seems that shall remain until Godzilla reemerges and begins terrorizing the Earth again. Soon discovered to be a robot double of Godzilla named Mechagodzilla, humanity must now do all it can to help Godzilla, and defeat the aliens behind the invasion. Be it foil their plans from within or awaken another monster, everything must be done in order to stop Mechagodzilla from its invasion. It's monster vs. machine in this colossal clash!

Let's build with this review and get to the best part last. So, of this films many strengths, we have one of the best human casts of the franchise. We get a nice mix of new and old blood of cast members in this movie, especially with Akihiko Hirata returning for one of his last performances in the series. But where this movie really shines for me is in some of the faces we haven't seen before, in particular with the alien leader named Kuronuma, played my Goro Mutsumi (pictured left). This dude is just sadistic. He clearly came to Earth for the sole interest of domination. Not a peaceful discussion or wanting to make life easy for humanity or with slowly building stakes, nope. Right off the bat, he's just ready to annihilate. And annihilate he does. He uses Mechagodzilla efficiently, using Mechagodzilla to almost kill Godzilla plenty of times and go on to do tons of irreparable damage to Tokyo. It's great.

On the protagonists side we have INTERPOL Agent Nanbara, played by the late Shin Kishida (pictured above right). This dude is just too awesome. For one, he's always wearing sunglasses, 'cause when you take names, you deserve that right. For two, he actually puts up some solid action for a human. Sneaking around like a fake alien in the end of the movie, getting into fights, this dude is just James Bond, practically. Only main difference being he never gets stumped or put in an odd spot because he's not in the entire movie. But he is just rad.

You'll find yourself surprised at how awesome the soundtrack to this movie is. With a score composed by veteran of the series, Masaru Sato, vs. Mechagodzilla's score makes an incredibly odd choice that sets the movie apart from just about any other kaiju movie, AND surprisingly works really well. You ready for this? No joke, vs. Mechagodzilla largely uses a score of big band and swing music. Yeah. Sounds weird, doesn't it? Well, don't get me wrong for even a second: it is weird. But lie to me and tell me this isn't energetic, iconic, and at the very least exciting. Oh what's that? You're realizing I said lie to me so you're 100% agreeing that this is the shiznit? Well, I for one agree. It's largely good because the movie commits to it 100%. If the theme of the Mechagodzilla/Anguirus fight was the only song in the soundtrack with this swing or tempo, it'd be weird and it wouldn't work. But the movie dedicates itself and commits to this choice for the entire runtime, so it works LEAGUES better than anyone would expect. And I'm glad they went with such an odd call. While of course we'll see Mechagodzilla without this swing music later on, it's impossible to imagine THIS Mechagodzilla without this music. They're just tied with each other hand in hand. And yeah, normally I don't mention the music or soundtrack very much in these reviews. But this one is so fundamentally perfect and essential to the movie, that I just had to mention it.

I found a review that called vs. Mechagodzilla "the cinematic-equivalent of smashing action figures together" (Quentin Hoffman). And when you look at a lineup of monsters like this, it's no surprise. Of course we have Godzilla, fresh with his silly redesign and new suit introduced in vs. Megalon, and of course we have Mechagodzilla. But believe it or not we also have King Caesar! Yeah, that's right. So on top of two classic Godzilla monsters, we also get introduced to one of his best villains, and one of the lesser supporting monsters. And they all fair very well and have some pretty fantastic suits and effects to back up this appearance. The only monster who doesn't fully get the best treatment is definitely Anguirus. Anguirus only serves a small role very early in the movie: fight Mechagodzilla in disguise, get his butt kicked and call for Godzilla. But it's still a solid moment. I like the Anguirus we got from Destroy All Monsters and on, largely because he's not a good match to fight Godzilla, and also because him and Godzilla work better as friends. Definitely a bummer he gets it handed to him so hard by Mechagodzilla, but it's always nice having him in the movie. Anguirus really benefits from some of the awesome sound work in this movie, and all the monsters really do, but especially Anguirus because it gets a rise out of the audience. After he gets it handed to him so badly, his roars get altered and stutter, and it hurts to watch him run off because you can tell he got hurt really badly and NEEDS Godzilla to step in not only for him, but for the whole world in turn.

As for the other three monsters, let's start with King Caesar. For a monster that only first appears just before the movie ends, he makes a solid impression. He's definitely an odd monster, a lion god that looks like a demonic rabbit that can reflect Mechagodzilla's fire power with his eyes who also just happens to know martial arts and is awoken through the singing of a song KIND OF like Mothra. It's kind of strange saying he is an odd monster given this movie stars MECHAGODZILLA and he's come right after Gigan and Hedorah, but he's just kind of odd. Not bad at all, just a little odd. My favorite thing about him is the King Caesar song. Don't get me wrong, it's not great and one of the few stinkers on the soundtrack. But it's what happens afterwards. Mechagodzilla marches on and the song is finished, and NO exaggeration, BOOM! A GIANT EXPLOSION AND OUT OF THE ASHES RISES KING CAESAR! It's kind of funny because of how over the top of a first appearance it is, but it gets you excited. If Godzilla can't stop Mechagodzilla, then a monster who causes explosions from waking up must! And while he doesn't really do that much damage at first, he still makes a fantastic first impression. And his tenacity cannot be overstated. Because he just keeps fighting. Even with Mechagodzilla just beating the living crap out of him, he just keeps fighting until eventually Godzilla shows up.


Speaking of the Big G, despite using a suit that I'm not exactly a huge fan of, he is still awesome in this movie. From his first defeat against Mechagodzilla at night to being struck by lightning, Godzilla refuses to give up in this movie. This is the first movie since in the entire series that he actually receives a pretty substantial beating. Sure, Gigan made him bleed, but in this movie he gets blasted constantly, and in the final fight with Mechagodzilla, he basically gets turned into a 160 ft. blood fountain, covered in missiles and signs that he definitely fought and got it handed to him for a bit from the space titanium titan. Of course Godzilla is known for going against the odds and facing any challenge anyway, but in this one it's doubly impressive because he has every right in the world to say "Nah, I'm good." But he just keeps on fighting till he snaps Mechagodzilla's head off. It's just really fun to watch.

Now you might be wondering: why's it taken so long to talk about the other titular monster, Mechagodzilla? Well, that's an easy question to answer: BECAUSE MECHAGODZILLA IS THE BEST THING ABOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE! That's definitely high praise because of how much I love this one, but I mean it. Everything about and relating to Mechagodzilla just elevates this movie in a fantastic way. Of course we have the fantastic costume and design. Debates are usually started within the community over Mechagodzilla, the coming editions and which one is the best. And despite JUST being shy of my favorite Mechagodzilla design, I can definitely say this one still might just be the best. The only live action Mechagodzilla to be made by aliens, he is just loaded. He's got all the weapons you never thought you needed to give a mega death robot and more. Missiles for fingers, missiles for toes, missiles for knees, laser eyes and a big laser in his chest, an unused flamethrower weapon imitating Godzilla's atomic breath, and a spinning head that forms a protective shield, Mechagodzilla's got it all. It's got a menacing look permanently frozen on its face, and it just looks like it is ready to kill you in the most over the top and ridiculous fashion as soon as possible. And even before it shows its metallic skin, it still makes itself known positively, disguising itself as Godzilla and causing havoc like we haven't seen Godzilla cause in YEARS. In this movie, we get to see two Godzillas. We get the savior bent on returning the world to its natural order and making sure that it is safe for not only Godzilla, but for all the creatues on the planet. And then we get the cold metal monster focus on death, destruction and devastation and ready to hurt anyone or anything in its way. Mechagodzilla is one of the mainstays of the franchise, and it only makes sense. Because he somehow gets even better as time goes on.

In summary, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla is just about all you can ask for. Great effects, a soundtrack to keep you excited, a human cast you like to follow and action to keep your eyes glued to the screen, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla is easily one of the most outlandishly awesome movies in the entire franchise, and thank goodness this killing robot will be seen later.

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Tomorrow we're wrapping up the first series with the return of the star of today's show. So buckle up and prepare to enter in the second era of Godzilla as we look at the finale of the original Godzilla series with the direct sequel to this film: Terror of Mechagodzilla.

Godzilla vs. Megalon - The Actually Worst One

March 17th, 1973. A day which will live in Godzilla infamy. For that is the day that onto the world was wrought Godzilla vs. Megalon. This is the movie that if it isn't Godzilla, I find tends to be the one movie of this series people have seen. It only makes sense. It was shown on so many TV channels for years and for a lot of people was easy to find and collect. Which I find hilarious because I still don't own a copy of the movie and I've been building my collection of the movies over the last 15 years or so with my dad. Regardless, what makes this movie so infamous? Well, in just about every capacity a Godzilla movie can be at very least bad and at very least campy, Godzilla vs. Megalon finds a way to be that and set the new standard while it's at it. From silly music, outlandishly hilarious monsters, flawed effects and laziness and use of stock footage that screams the budget of a college kid, this movie essentially set the series back and is usually the movie people think of when they think Godzilla is stupid or dumb and not worth any more than being something to laugh at. And honestly, because of that, it HAS to be seen to be believed.

In the year 197X (real creative by the way), the people of the surface level of Earth are testing nuclear weapons too much, causing subterranean earthquakes for the people of Seatopia. As revenge, the Seatopians release their monster named Megalon onto the world. With the world in trouble and the robot Jet Jaguar needing allies, it seeks out Godzilla in hopes of defeating the combined powers of Megalon and Gigan, recently borrowed from the Nebulans. It's a battle against the Earth that really has to be seen by all.

Alright, let's get this party started: this happened. Nothing to add. Just confirming that this movie is real and this happened. No this does not contribute to the review, but it is so famous and hilarious that I had to at very least mention it. So, I mentioned it. Someone thought this was a good idea and should be contributed to film for the rest of time. And it is. It's hilarious, it really is. But it's just so embarrassing. I will yet again ask you to please look to the first review and remember where this character represents and where this series started, and then think about the fact that YES INDEED WE SOMEHOW GOT HERE!

Alright, that out of the way, there are two brand new monsters in this movie; the titular Megalon and Jer Jaguar. Let's talk about Megalon first because quite frankly that's much easier. Like Gigan before him, Megalon is one of my favorite Godzilla antagonists and for a nice chunk of time was my favorite monster in the series not named Godzilla. He's a weird thing, and maybe just shy of Gigan weirdness, but he's a weird monster. He's got a horn on his head that shoots lightning, he can shoot giant bombs out of his mouth, has drills for hands which he can use to burrow underground and he can fly. From Gabara to Megalon, Toho went from what seemed like no new monster ideas to just getting too out there. I think Megalon juuuuuust tippy toes on the line of being too outlandish and fitting into the series. Maybe it's bias, because it honestly could be. A lot of my childhood was spent playing video games, and you bet Godzilla games were a part of that. And Megalon was always super cool in the games, so maybe I think he's alright because of those. It is a possibility.

ON THE OTHER HAND, we have Jet. Jaguar. Jet Jaguar is just hilarious. You look at him and you can't help but laugh. For those who don't know, Jet Jaguar was born of a contest for kids to draw a kaiju that would inspire a new monster to then star in the next Godzilla movie. That movie just so happened to be this one, and Jet Jaguar was born. Makes sense, doesn't it? Jet Jaguar is just hilarious. Everything about him is just comedy. From clearly being a rip off of Ultraman to his hilariously creepy smile and shrinking powers like he's trying to be the Atom, it's just hilariously clear that we mortals don't deserve to live on the same plane as him. And for those wondering, yes. He does indeed have a theme song. I have a playlist of music I listen to when I write these and whenever it comes on, I just have to stop, look at the picture of Jet Jaguar and remember that yes, I am alive, and that yes, Jet Jaguar was seen by multiple people and they all agreed "Yes. This is a character we all want in our movie series."

Oh yeah, Godzilla and Gigan are here by the way. Yeah, that's right, we got four monsters in this shindig. So how do Gigan and Godzilla fair? Well, Gigan's fine as always. Having Gigan is ALWAYS a plus. He's always fun to watch, always. He even gets some great moments in here, like when Jet just launches him into the air and Godzilla just blasts the crap out of him with his atomic breath. It's great. And he runs away, yet again. Yet again, Gigan is Starscream. But what about Godzilla? Well, he's quite the middle ground in this movie. On one hand, it's Godzilla. On the other hand, MegaroGoji might be one of the worst designs of Godzilla ever, for the simple fact Godzilla actually looks kinda cute. He just kinda looks like an ugly pug to me or something like that. Of course he's Godzilla and thank God he makes more appearances with this suit later to redeem it, but he just looks goofy. This is also coming after a design and suit for the character that was practically being perfect, looking intimidating enough while also just walking on the line that a kid could look at him and not be scared. It just looks odd with this one looking like they were aiming for cute when the previous one still looked pretty mean.

Alright, what's next on the chopping block? Eh, what the hell, let's talk about the Seatopians. In terms of human antagonists, these guys are the worst for the absolute best reasons. The Muans of Atragon are the worst human antagonists we've encountered so far. By a LONG mile. They aren't intimidating, they don't keep their promises and they desaturate the entire movie. The Seatopians on the other hand are everything about the Muans but in reverse and it actually doesn't work properly, but it's STILL hilarious. First of all, their costume design is just absolute comedy. They've been called everything, and considering how they look, I KNOW you're making jokes in your head. I just know you are. Because they look like clowns. Unlike the Muans however, they hold up to their promise of unleashing their monster. They're so hell bent on destruction that they go to the Nebluans for Gigan just to cause more damage. And you have to wonder if it's overkill at all. I think if they went to the surface together they might be listened to. But nope. Their solution is fire and blood. Okay, sure guys. The best part is that they're honestly the best of the human cast. The main human protagonists are so not helpful that you have to wonder if they actually care what's going on.

This movie's just the worst. I said it set the series back, and I do mean that. From this point on, the first series would have two movies left and would end on a high note, but being preceded by Godzilla vs. Megalon, it's easy to make improvements. And yet, I will still recommend you watch it. It is not only the Room of Godzilla movies, it's the Room of all kaiju and special effects heavy movies. Watch it and learn. Because even though it's not good, you can still learn so much from it.

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This was a fun one to revisit and watch, but I just wanted to get it out of the way, because tomorrow's feature is one of my favorites of the entire series as we meet Godzilla's metal doppelgänger as we watch one of the best movies of the first series: Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla!

Godzilla vs. Gigan - Aliens, Aliens, and More Aliens

Alright, this is not a great one, folks. After Godzilla vs. Hedorah, Toho yet again was a bit lost and perplexed with what to do next with Godzilla. I mean, Godzilla's Revenge wasn't great being kid centric and focused on its anti bullying message and Godzilla vs. Hedorah was even more confusing as a movie with a message that is mainly for younger people, the movie was just filled with disturbing imagery and would definitely not be the first Godzilla movie of choice for many parents. So, what was Toho's solution? Do it again, except even worse! Godzilla vs. Gigan is just improperly made across the board. I can confirm I don't want to hate it as I have a lot of nostalgia attached to it, but it is just a mess of an identity crisis. It isn't like vs. Hedorah where despite its flaws it also is not that bad. Because while there are positives with this one, they're mixed amongst a confusion of tone, an incredibly weird story relating to comic books and children's theme parks that it just ends up being on better left forgotten.

The theme park company World Children's Land is expanding to Japan, with the centerpiece of the park being a Godzilla themed tower. While this may sound normal, it gets more sinister, as it is soon revealed the people behind the park are aliens from the M Space Hunter Nebula and are here to takeover the Earth. Using tapes, they also have two monsters under their control: King Ghidorah, and the new and terrifying Gigan. Now it's up to the humans to use the tapes to call Godzilla and Anguirus and hope they can defeat this alien menace.

I think the first huge issue of this movie is the pace. It takes awhile for anything to get started, and for a nice chunk of the movie, there's just nothing that happens. Just a whole lot of seeing Godzilla and Anguirus swimming to the mainland. Which, I mean, I guess that has to be shown, but it doesn't have to take as long as it does. And then once Anguirus does reach the mainland, it takes awhile for Ghidorah and Gigan to appear from there. And then once they do show up, it STILL feels awful because of how lazy the effects of Gigan and Ghidorah flying look. They just look like toys being pulled by a wire on being pulled by lame magnetics or something. It looks terrible and lazy and is a real shame with how good Ghidorah flying in the past has looked.


The biggest thing the movie has going for it is its cast of monsters. Godzilla, Anguirus and King Ghidorah are main stays and it's always a welcome sight to see them again. But this movies main attraction is of course the newly introduced Gigan. Gigan is a weird monster and doesn't really fit in the Godzilla universe in theory. He looks a lot more like something that might come out of other kaiju licenses like Gamera or Ultraman, but he's one of Godzilla's best antagonists. I like comparing him to Starscream from Transformers. He's just an absolute villain, through and through. He's brutal and deadly and just dismantles whoever gets in his way... that is when he has the upper hand. 'Cause then he runs away like a coward. Gigan is actually brutal as hell. He's got hooks for hands, a laser on top of his head that he won't get to use for a few years, a buzzsaw on his chest and he can fly. The dude is mean and he does a lot of damage, officially becoming the first monster to ever make Godzilla bleed. And then once he gets it handed to him, he runs away. But not before putting up a really solid fight, beating the crap out of Godzilla and making Anguirus bleed as well, the third time this would happen in all of his appearances. He's a really weird monster, and he honestly probably should not be in this series. Yet, here he is. And he and all the other monsters do life the presence from being a REALLY bad movie into just a flawed Godzilla movie.

The human cast unfortunately doesn't fair quite as well, but they're not the worst in the series or anything. My favorite members of the cast are Kubota, played by Toshiaki Nishizawa (left) and Fumio Sudo (right). As the main antagonists of the movie, I won't say they're anything incredible or anything, but they do get the job done. They're both really cold and calculating, especially Sudo. I mean, it makes sense considering they're both aliens and trying to sneak their way into human society, but they both do a pretty solid job of clearly not being the guys to root for and being the villain. And then they just get worse once it their true form of being giant cockroaches is revealed. 'Cause then they just become more than a villain; then they're just gross. Now I'm not gonna sit here and wax poetic about how incredible of villains they are, or act like they're gonna win any awards or anything. Because even despite my compliments, they're still just kind of okay. But they're in my opinion the best of the human cast. They aren't incredible and they don't exactly add any points to the film overall, but they're solid enough and they do their job. And honestly that's about as good as we're gonna get for vs. Gigan.

Godzilla vs Gigan is so confusing. It's got a whole lot of qualities that are either range from just okay to bad, and it doesn't have anything exciting or intriguing to build up to for most of its run time. It's just a mess, honestly. I can't recommend it like I can Godzilla vs. Hedorah, because I find that at least vs. Hedorah was set on being disturbing and weird. This one just doesn't know what kind of flick it's even trying to be. I definitely say if you want a proper introduction for one of the weirdest movie monsters of all time, then go for it. But if you want a better movie and to meet Gigan later, then you're gonna have to wait awhile.

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Tomorrow is one I've just been absolutely dreading talking about because it might be the crowning jewel of craptitude over the entire franchise. Some love it because of how bad it is, and others just see what I see: an incredibly flawed movie that set the series back a few years. Tomorrow we're gonna be taking a look at the infamous Godzilla vs. Megalon.

Godzilla vs. Hedorah - A Messy One

So, I said in the title as a joke that this is a messy one, because Hedorah is a messy monster. As for the movie itself, see, that's trickier. Godzilla vs. Hedorah is one of the absolute strangest movies in the series in just about every category. Held within this one movie we see one of the absolute zaniest moments of Godzilla's 65 year career as a film icon, one of the weirdest opponents he's ever battled with, strange editing, and just in general a movie that is just incredibly odd in every department. The most important question about Godzilla vs. Hedorah however is a very simple one: does it work? Is it a good Godzilla movie? Yet again, the answer we're going to get is a strange one. Because on one hand it is one of my favorite movies starring the King, but on the other hand, well, it's just a messy one.

Humanity has been polluting the Earth too much, and a monster from Outer Space in the dark nebula of the Orion Belt thrives off of this: Hedorah. Ever evolving, changing shape and causing tons of damage, only Godzilla can stop the monster, save the country, and maybe even the world.

So, one department that I really enjoy about this movie is its different commentary. We've gotten a lot of commentary on nukes and their devastating power throughout the series. Every movie seemed to talk about them it seemed. Godzilla, the Mysterians, Atragon, even Frankenstein vs. Baragon had some nuclear commentary in there. And there isn't anything wrong with that, not one bit. It's an important topic and with us in an era where it is so prevalent, it deserves all the discussion and recognition that it can, and does, get. But when you hear the same commentary over and over, eventually you start to become numb to it. So, while the point of "Be good to our planet" with the discussion and commentary on pollution isn't exactly new, talking about straight up pollution and the poisoning of the Earth is, and I think the movie handles this pretty well. We get to see a lot of devastation and destruction in the movie because of just how dangerous Hedorah is, killing a lot of people on screen just from flying above them, having its emissions destroy buildings and even reducing people to skeletons. Honestly, it can get really disturbing, but it's good to see so much of this tackled in the movie.

Now, how about Hedorah itself? This jerk is mean. Godzilla's had a lot of tough competitors and he's gonna have many more in the upcoming future, but I think Hedorah might be up there in the top three meanest opponents he's ever faced, and probably ever will face. Before their final battle, we see how much damage Hedorah can do, and we get a lot of science lessons on what exactly he is. He's a weird alien, thriving on pollution and is shown in basically cartoons eating up factories and drinking whale blood, and he just sits on smoke stacks absorbing all that lovely CO2. I don't think an exact explanation is given as to WHY he thrives on the pollution so much outside of the simple fact he does, and so, that's about all I got. But he can really get under your skin. From seeing him destroy buildings without basically any effort, reducing humans to bones, DUMPING HIMSELF ON A CAT and even making Godzilla almost pass out in their first battle, he's an evil monster, and clearly only sees humanity as a means to an end. And he only gets worse from there. My main highlight of Hedorah is that in their final battle, he throws Godzilla in a pit and just dumps his acid all over him. Godzilla just flails around helplessly, and it's actually kinda hard to watch. Only made worse when Hedorah starts laughing at Godzilla, taunting him and how helpless he really is in that moment. He does a lot of damage to Godzilla from there, burning one of Godzilla's eyes so badly he basically loses his eye, and eventually, he even reduces Godzilla's left hand to bone. He just kicks the crap out of him, and he's an absolute jerk and a really solid monster antagonist for the film. He's really hard to stop too. Basically if any cell of him continues to exist, it can potentially keep growing and just form another Hedorah. So when the final battle goes on and Godzilla has to kill him, he has to tear him apart. And tear him apart he does. Godzilla just tears into him, ripping out any part of Hedorah's body that has any moisture left. It's satisfying to watch him get the crap kicked out of him so thoroughly considering how bad we see him thrash Godzilla. He really is a pretty solid antagonist for the movie, which I think helps with the save the Earth message, because when a monster this evil is killing Godzilla, then imagine what it can do to us and the rest of the world!

One thing to note about the movie is just how freakishly weird it is. I mean, of course it's weird when you're dealing with a monster basically made purely out of pollution, but it doesn't even come close to stopping there. Honestly, if that was where it stopped, I would recommend this movie a lot faster. Check out this scene for example. It's just a little too trippy for my tastes with what feels like a drug hallucination just hanging over this scene like it thinks that's its job. The whole movie is plagued by really odd choices like this however. Godzilla's first appearance is set to the weirdest sounding "interpretation" of his theme EVER. And then when he physically shows up ('cause the first time he appears it's as like a dream or something), he appears as like this big black smudge in the sky made only clear by being filled in black. And it just keeps getting weirder. Honestly I'm not fully convinced I'm not high on Hedorah fumes myself, 'cause I think I might actually be hallucinating most of the stuff that happens in the movie. What I know for a fact I'm not hallucinating since everyone has seen it and it MUST be seen to be believed, let's talk about the greatest thing this movie has brought to the series: ladies and gentlemen, that's right. GODZILLA IS FLYING. Please forgive the link, it was honestly the only full clip of the scene I could find online and unedited. Regardless, watch the scene. Remember a few weeks ago when I was talking about how scary Godzilla is and how the first film is about nuclear devestation and about how we're not being good to our planet? Yeah. Here's where we are now. Thank you, Toho, truly.

I honestly feel like I can't really fully talk about Godzilla in this one. Honestly, this has got to be one of the weirdest appearances of the character to date. For his character and a film, it's just baffling that any of this actually was filmed, directed and released into theaters. Like, Godzilla! What did they do to you, man?! I can definitely say the suit used in this movie named Soshingekigoji is one of my favorites in the whole series. Of course we've seen it before with it appearing in Destroy All Monsters and Godzilla's Revenge, but I felt like it'd be best to mention it here. It's a really solid design of the character, especially with his face. Despite this being the era of Godzilla where he'd start applying and appealing towards kids more, this suit looks actually pretty serious and angry all the time, with a badass scowl permanently on his face. But it's just so hard to highlight in this movie because it is just so out there! And of course he does his standard Godzilla fare. He doesn't city stomp as much, he leaves that all to Headorah. But he still breaths the atomic breath and fights the monster, but that doesn't change the fact that he FLIES in this movie. No, I'm not getting over that. I never can and I never will. Fun fact, and an amusing little anecdote: I took a writing class my Senior Year of high school that culminated in writing a paper about something we're passionate about. I wrote on why Godzilla matters and should be taken more serious. I wanted to appeal to the fact people think Godzilla's weird, and maybe even a little stupid, so, I wanted to use a clip from a film. So, I did. I presented the scene, perfectly titled "Something You Don't See Everyday" to my class. And the jaws just dropped. It was hilarious.

So, that's Godzilla vs. Hedorah. Honestly, I can say I recommend it. It's got some of Godzilla's highest highs and lowest lows and gives us one of my favorite opponents he's ever faced. I can definitely give a warning to prepare yourself because of how W E I R D it is, but if you like weird stuff, then by all means. Grab the popcorn and start getting trippy, 'cause this one is a doozy.

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Tomorrow's gonna be a mixed bag. It's a movie I got a lot of nostalgia for, but I will be the first to openly admit it's one of the worst in the whole series, though it does have some positives. If you know what I mean, then you shouldn't be surprised that tomorrow we're diving into Godzilla vs. Gigan.

Space Amoeba - JURASSIC PARK WITH A BIG CRAB

So, fun fact! So far I've watched every movie in its native language. I just feel like the best way to properly enjoy the movie how was originally made is in its native language. That is to say, that was until it came to watching Space Amoeba, 'cause Amazon Prime doesn't have the movie in the original Japanese dub. It also adds in a bunch of stock sound effects to "liven it up," or something light that. This isn't really about the film itself, honestly. I just thought it was a fun little anecdote. So, how about the actual movie? Well, it sure is something. Honestly, Space Amoeba falls into the exact same department as King Kong Escapes where it's just utterly okay. It's not insulting or anything and it definitely is not one to remember. It just lives in the very unfortunate reality of pure kaiju mediocrity that it isn't one to be recommended.


After the unmanned mission to Jupiter named Helios 7 is commandeered by an alien entity named Yog, it makes its way to Earth, crashing just off of Sergio Island. From there, people journey to the Island and find themselves terrorized by three monsters, all creations of the monster Yog.

This movie is in the really unfortunate time to be the first Toho kaiju film to not have the masterful effects of Eiji Tsubaraya behind it. Eiji Tsubaraya passed away before the movie started filming, and so when it came to putting his own magic to the camera, he unfortunately wasn't able to. Tsubaraya was a pioneer and a master of monster effects, so, it isn't exactly a surprise then that the effects of Space Amoeba aren't exactly incredible or anything. Some of that definitely is on pressure from Toho who kept pressuring the crew to lower the budget of the film, and a lot of the film suffers as a result. Unfortunately effects get it worst are definitely the monsters. All of the monsters actually have a lot of moving parts about them. The turtle monster Kamoebas for example, having both an extendable neck and tongue. Gezora, the cuttlefish monster, has a lot of tentacles that flail about, kind of like all of Ghidorah's heads, and the crab monster Ganimes must have been really heavy, basically just being Ebirah that actually moves on land. But outside of Kamoebas who actually looks rather solid, they don't look really good. There's a bit of stiffness to both Gezora and Ganimes, at least I think. Ganimes doesn't look very good at all, and it's hard for him to stick out with a monster so similar to him in a setting so similar coming out just a few years prior with Godzilla vs the Sea Monster. Gezora meanwhile got strange cult popularity out of this movie, appearing in video games and comics and a few stock footage appearances that we'll talk about later. I say this is strange popularity, because he really is not that exciting. Honestly, I'm gonna call this one awash mainly because they came from the era where Toho kind of didn't have a lot of great ideas, and that's the same situation here. They're not really that creative or interesting to watch. It's a huge bummer, because they're also lose memorability by just being relegated to another island which at this point Toho kind of overused.

In terms of overusing, Toho actually has more overusing to answer for. This is the final film Toho made under their original system of holding actors to contracts. So if you ever thought to yourself "Man, we see some of the same actors a lot," well, that's because of Toho's system. This will be the final film that Akira Kubo will appear in in this marathon and series, and, well, I feel like I can't fully give a take on his performance due to watching a dub. So as to how he says his lines and what he gives in that department, I can provide no commentary. Honestly I feel like I can't fully talk about his performance at all because of A, the dub, and B, there isn't a lot to really talk about. I put Jurassic Park in the title mainly 'cause I feel like it's not a bad comparison between films, so I guess I gotta extend the metaphor. If this movie is trying to be Jurassic Park, then Kubo's character is, I guess, Dr. Grant? Not 'cause he's a scientist or anything, 'cause he definitely isn't. I just say that 'cause he's the straight man who jokes around a TINY BIT while being surrounded by a lot of characters. In terms of reusing, they chant of the Farou Islanders from King Kong vs Godzilla is even reused in this movie for the natives of Sergio Island. So, it's fun to hear it again, but it just screams lazy.

Honestly, there's not a lot to talk about with this one. It's just a really mediocre movie that is notable only for its monsters who lack memorability and mainly got mentioned because of their brief cameos in the future. This movie is more notable for being a bit of a culture shift for Toho. With Tsubaraya gone and Ishiro Honda largely moving on to directing television, Toho was seemingly running out of steam. So from here, we're gonna see the end of the first series and basically nothing but Godzilla from here on. So if you thought these monsters were fun and all but wanted the G-Man, don't worry. He's here to stay from just about here on. As for Space Amoeba, just don't watch it. It's boring and all around just really "Meh." Don't waste an hour and a half on a movie you won't remember in 10 minutes.

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Oooooooooooo, tomorrow it's on like Donkey Kong. It's time to give a hoot and not pollute. It's time to see the monstrous manifestation of how it is indeed not easy to be green. So come back tomorrow as we start getting trippy with Godzilla vs. Hedorah.

Godzilla's Revenge - "Best Hits"

Alright, this one's gonna be a speed round, folks. 'Cause I'm typing one paragraph and one paragraph only because that's what this lazy TERRIBLE movie deserves. Godzilla's Revenge or All Monsters Attack might technically be the worst film in the entire Godzilla franchise. All this movie is is shameless stock footage that is tried to pass off as a new movie. This isn't like a clip show where it's using clips from old episodes as a way to recap what has happened in the past. What they try using the footage here to do is try writing it all of as new battles and new fights. It's not. It is absolutely SHAMELESS use of stock footage to the highest extent. The only monsters with new scenes that were actually shot are Godzilla, Minilla, Kamacarus who gets new footage very briefly and the newly introduced monster, Gabara. Gabara is a terrible monster in every category, roar, powers, design, the list goes on and on. Gabara's main motive in the movie is just to bully Minilla to tell a message against bullying that is told subtly if you spell subtly like this. At least it wasn't going for subtlety, but even if it wasn't going for subtlety, it still is a boring movie. The human side of the movie is about Ichiro Miki, played Tomonori Yazaki. He gets bullied at school and is a fan of Godzilla, so one night he goes home alone and dreams of going to Monster Island where he meets Minilla, gets taught about how to stand up for himself and relives watching footage from older, better Godzilla movies. It's not like Ichiro is the worst human protagonist in the series or even an irritating kid, he just happens to be in perhaps the worst Godzilla movie and also makes some dumb decisions that get him into a lot of trouble. He also says his favorite monster is Minilla, so clearly he's not exactly the smartest kid either. Then after seeing Minilla and Godzilla fight Gabara in the dream world of Monster Island he goes into the real world, fights his bullies and takes on their dare learning a moral lesson about not ringing bicycle horns, I guess. Look, I can imagine this movie probably gets a right off from most fans with the excuse of "It's a kids movie." Look, you can write it off as just a kids movie, but if we're going by that logic and excuse Toy Story is supposedly "just a kids movie" and is also a good film because it was made with time and care and was made with effort. Trying to just say "it's a kids movie" is a subtle way to say "It's okay if it's bad" 'cause the kids don't care. Maybe, but kids deserve more movies like Toy Story or the Land Before Time. Toho clearly didn't care about making a good movie, let alone a good movie for kids. Godzilla's Revenge is abysmal, as a movie and a film for children. Don't waste your time and watch it. I'm mad now. This movie makes me mad.

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Tomorrow we're watching Space Amoeba. Have a great day.

Destroy All Monsters - In Which One Monster Gets Destroyed

This one's one of my personal favorites of the original series. Originally intended to end Toho's reputation as the monster movie factory, this movie is basically the Avengers. Not even hyperbole. What we get here is most of the characters the series and universe has already established, because unfortunately a few monsters do get left out, a villain we already have established who was basically the best villain we've had so far, and all of our favorite characters coming together to put an end to evil before it somehow gets even crazier. Destroy All Monsters is ambitious!... That is, in its final 10 minutes. The unfortunate truth of Destroy All Monsters is that while they do have solid build up and really do save the best for last, they REALLY save the best for last. But the thing that is good is that even while you are waiting, it's not a bad wait. We don't exactly get the greatest human story or anything, but it isn't terrible. So buckle your seatbelts, because we're in for a wild ride today!

At the end of the 20th century, the world is at peace. Technology is advancing fast, space is being explored at a rapid pace, and best of all, the monsters of the world are all contained. No longer do Godzilla, Anguirus, Rodan and other titans terrorize the world, as they all live safely and peacefully on Monster Island. That is until the Kilaak aliens come to Earth and demand the Earth be theirs. When their demands are not met, all the monsters are set free as the humans scramble to get the monsters back to Monster Island, keep as many people alive as possible, and get the Kilaak aliens off of Earth!



Alright, let's start this off with by FAR the best thing about the movie: the monsters. With a total of 11 monsters in the film, this really is the royal rumble. What's even crazier is that there were supposed to be more, with Ebirah, Maguma, Kamacarus, Sanda and Gaira all to appear in the film as well. And while it is unfortunate they didn't make an appearance, we got almost all of the monsters established in the series so far and with TWO exceptions, they all get some pretty solid treatment. Those two exceptions being Varan and Baragon. If you've seen the movie, or are fans of the monsters, you know those two got shafted HARD in this movie. Which is unfortunate, but only about an hour and a half of total movie to watch, someone was bound to get some crap. So, what to we get instead? Well, we get to see Rodan and Godzilla become villains again, Manda actually gets some screen time, has a really solid puppet AND actually does more than get killed, Gorosaurus became a fan favorite kaiju and Anguirus reminded the world became one of the mainstay monsters of the original series, taking hits from Ghidorah and being a guard dog for the Kilaaks. Almost all of the monsters get really fair treatment here. Even Minilla! If you hated Minilla in Son of Godzilla, I can't say you'll end up loving him in this one or anything, but he does actually contribute to the final battle and is just one of the many monsters who helps kick the crap out of Ghidorah. Oh, and Ghidorah, who doesn't appear until the final few minutes of the movie get some pretty good screentime before he gets killed. While it definitely is a bummer than we didn't get every monster, and not every monster received perfect treatment, almost all of them do get some decently solid treatment and that's not something to snuff at. The only issue is that the monsters aren't actually in the movie that much. Sure, we do get some battle scenes between the monsters and the military and we see them wipe out a few cities, but they don't exactly take command of the plot. That falls on the human cast.

For a movie called Destroy All Monsters, we actually don't all that much monster action. Instead what most of the movie really is is the humans reacting to what COULD happen and dealing with the alien conspiracy, while we get some action of the monsters cut in between every once and awhile. And you know what? I don't actually hate this approach. What this movie is plot wise is basically Invasion of the Astro Monster, if that movie was cranked up to 11. So, we spend most of our time with the human cast. So, how do they do? Not that bad, honestly. Pictured are my two favorite human characters in the movie, the Kilaak Queen, played by Kyoko Ai (pictured left), and Captain Katsuo Yamabe, played Akira Kubo (pictured right). Let's talk about Kubo first. Kubo got a lot of great roles throughout the original series, and unfortunately outside of one of upcoming movies, this is the last we'll be seeing him. So, how's his second to last impression. I think it's strong. He gets by far his most active role in the series, being one of the first characters we meet and part of the Kilaak's ultimate destruction. Kubo gets a lot out of this character and even though the writing can be a little weak sometimes, what we get is a pretty solid performance. He gets to vary a lot in emotion, showing a really happy smile when talking to his sister at the beginning of the movie, and later on we get to see him in a bit of an intense scene of him destroying a major Kilaak device. He gets a lot out of a pretty simple, almost boy scout character. He has a lot of talent, and it really is no surprise he got to be in some Kurosawa movies. Now, as for the Kilaak Queen, I think I just like the cold calculated villain. I think what's interesting is the Kilaaks and the Kilaak Queen actually remind me a lot of the Muans and the Muan Priest from Atragon. I think what separates them however is the Kilaak Queen actually backs up her confidence in her plan. Launching her attack so early and being so well defended for most of the movie, you start to hate her and how confident she is in her plan. So when the Kilaaks lost and she gets her comeuppance, there's a bit of happiness and a feeling of "Yeah, take that! This is our planet, jerk!" Now, she's not going down as an all time great villain or anything. But for what she does do and how confident she is in her evil, she is a delight to watch.

This movie's got some of the best city destruction in the entire series. With so many monsters in so many different locations and a budget that adjusted for inflation is around $13,000,000, it'd better look good! And it really does. For one, all of the suits and puppets no matter how long they're on screen look better than ever. And the sets here are magnificent as well. I gave a lot of props and praise to the miniatures in War of the Gargantuas, and those are still fantastic, but the ones here are just stellar. See the picture of Gorosaurus destroying the Arc de Triomphe for example. Painstaking detail and care went into getting all the etchings of such a famous landmark perfect and they look great. And this is just the start. Other landmarks like Moscow's Kremlin and the United Nations Headquarters that Godzilla blasts the hell out of all look stellar, and for some of them they really didn't need to make them look so good as they only appear on screen for a brief amount of time. There was a lot of time and care made into every effect in the movie that if this actually was the grand finale, I think this would have been a satisfactory ending to the series. Thank Toho it isn't though, 'cause we're nowhere near done.

In short, I like Destroy All Monsters a lot. I like it more than a lot of other G-Fans and I get why. I definitely can see why and in part agree with people who say it doesn't focus on the monsters enough. But what we actually get is a pretty solid human plot and then once we do get the monsters, we get some of the best effects of the entire original series. This movie is JUST shy of my top 10 that we'll see later, so, hate to kill the hype so soon. But, I like this one a lot. Solid recommendation from me!

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Tomorrow we're entering a dark era, folks. After Destroy All Monsters, Toho thought it was abundantly clear from the audience approval and box office return that people wanted more Godzilla. So they decided to keep making more. And make more they did. What comes next is one of the worst movies of the series with a bad monster, LAME human plot and perhaps the most lazy filmmaking in the entire series. I hope you're as prepared as I am scared to revisit All Monsters Attack, or as I have known it my whole life: Godzilla's Revenge.