Godzilla vs. Gigan - Aliens, Aliens, and More Aliens

Alright, this is not a great one, folks. After Godzilla vs. Hedorah, Toho yet again was a bit lost and perplexed with what to do next with Godzilla. I mean, Godzilla's Revenge wasn't great being kid centric and focused on its anti bullying message and Godzilla vs. Hedorah was even more confusing as a movie with a message that is mainly for younger people, the movie was just filled with disturbing imagery and would definitely not be the first Godzilla movie of choice for many parents. So, what was Toho's solution? Do it again, except even worse! Godzilla vs. Gigan is just improperly made across the board. I can confirm I don't want to hate it as I have a lot of nostalgia attached to it, but it is just a mess of an identity crisis. It isn't like vs. Hedorah where despite its flaws it also is not that bad. Because while there are positives with this one, they're mixed amongst a confusion of tone, an incredibly weird story relating to comic books and children's theme parks that it just ends up being on better left forgotten.

The theme park company World Children's Land is expanding to Japan, with the centerpiece of the park being a Godzilla themed tower. While this may sound normal, it gets more sinister, as it is soon revealed the people behind the park are aliens from the M Space Hunter Nebula and are here to takeover the Earth. Using tapes, they also have two monsters under their control: King Ghidorah, and the new and terrifying Gigan. Now it's up to the humans to use the tapes to call Godzilla and Anguirus and hope they can defeat this alien menace.

I think the first huge issue of this movie is the pace. It takes awhile for anything to get started, and for a nice chunk of the movie, there's just nothing that happens. Just a whole lot of seeing Godzilla and Anguirus swimming to the mainland. Which, I mean, I guess that has to be shown, but it doesn't have to take as long as it does. And then once Anguirus does reach the mainland, it takes awhile for Ghidorah and Gigan to appear from there. And then once they do show up, it STILL feels awful because of how lazy the effects of Gigan and Ghidorah flying look. They just look like toys being pulled by a wire on being pulled by lame magnetics or something. It looks terrible and lazy and is a real shame with how good Ghidorah flying in the past has looked.


The biggest thing the movie has going for it is its cast of monsters. Godzilla, Anguirus and King Ghidorah are main stays and it's always a welcome sight to see them again. But this movies main attraction is of course the newly introduced Gigan. Gigan is a weird monster and doesn't really fit in the Godzilla universe in theory. He looks a lot more like something that might come out of other kaiju licenses like Gamera or Ultraman, but he's one of Godzilla's best antagonists. I like comparing him to Starscream from Transformers. He's just an absolute villain, through and through. He's brutal and deadly and just dismantles whoever gets in his way... that is when he has the upper hand. 'Cause then he runs away like a coward. Gigan is actually brutal as hell. He's got hooks for hands, a laser on top of his head that he won't get to use for a few years, a buzzsaw on his chest and he can fly. The dude is mean and he does a lot of damage, officially becoming the first monster to ever make Godzilla bleed. And then once he gets it handed to him, he runs away. But not before putting up a really solid fight, beating the crap out of Godzilla and making Anguirus bleed as well, the third time this would happen in all of his appearances. He's a really weird monster, and he honestly probably should not be in this series. Yet, here he is. And he and all the other monsters do life the presence from being a REALLY bad movie into just a flawed Godzilla movie.

The human cast unfortunately doesn't fair quite as well, but they're not the worst in the series or anything. My favorite members of the cast are Kubota, played by Toshiaki Nishizawa (left) and Fumio Sudo (right). As the main antagonists of the movie, I won't say they're anything incredible or anything, but they do get the job done. They're both really cold and calculating, especially Sudo. I mean, it makes sense considering they're both aliens and trying to sneak their way into human society, but they both do a pretty solid job of clearly not being the guys to root for and being the villain. And then they just get worse once it their true form of being giant cockroaches is revealed. 'Cause then they just become more than a villain; then they're just gross. Now I'm not gonna sit here and wax poetic about how incredible of villains they are, or act like they're gonna win any awards or anything. Because even despite my compliments, they're still just kind of okay. But they're in my opinion the best of the human cast. They aren't incredible and they don't exactly add any points to the film overall, but they're solid enough and they do their job. And honestly that's about as good as we're gonna get for vs. Gigan.

Godzilla vs Gigan is so confusing. It's got a whole lot of qualities that are either range from just okay to bad, and it doesn't have anything exciting or intriguing to build up to for most of its run time. It's just a mess, honestly. I can't recommend it like I can Godzilla vs. Hedorah, because I find that at least vs. Hedorah was set on being disturbing and weird. This one just doesn't know what kind of flick it's even trying to be. I definitely say if you want a proper introduction for one of the weirdest movie monsters of all time, then go for it. But if you want a better movie and to meet Gigan later, then you're gonna have to wait awhile.

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Tomorrow is one I've just been absolutely dreading talking about because it might be the crowning jewel of craptitude over the entire franchise. Some love it because of how bad it is, and others just see what I see: an incredibly flawed movie that set the series back a few years. Tomorrow we're gonna be taking a look at the infamous Godzilla vs. Megalon.

Godzilla vs. Hedorah - A Messy One

So, I said in the title as a joke that this is a messy one, because Hedorah is a messy monster. As for the movie itself, see, that's trickier. Godzilla vs. Hedorah is one of the absolute strangest movies in the series in just about every category. Held within this one movie we see one of the absolute zaniest moments of Godzilla's 65 year career as a film icon, one of the weirdest opponents he's ever battled with, strange editing, and just in general a movie that is just incredibly odd in every department. The most important question about Godzilla vs. Hedorah however is a very simple one: does it work? Is it a good Godzilla movie? Yet again, the answer we're going to get is a strange one. Because on one hand it is one of my favorite movies starring the King, but on the other hand, well, it's just a messy one.

Humanity has been polluting the Earth too much, and a monster from Outer Space in the dark nebula of the Orion Belt thrives off of this: Hedorah. Ever evolving, changing shape and causing tons of damage, only Godzilla can stop the monster, save the country, and maybe even the world.

So, one department that I really enjoy about this movie is its different commentary. We've gotten a lot of commentary on nukes and their devastating power throughout the series. Every movie seemed to talk about them it seemed. Godzilla, the Mysterians, Atragon, even Frankenstein vs. Baragon had some nuclear commentary in there. And there isn't anything wrong with that, not one bit. It's an important topic and with us in an era where it is so prevalent, it deserves all the discussion and recognition that it can, and does, get. But when you hear the same commentary over and over, eventually you start to become numb to it. So, while the point of "Be good to our planet" with the discussion and commentary on pollution isn't exactly new, talking about straight up pollution and the poisoning of the Earth is, and I think the movie handles this pretty well. We get to see a lot of devastation and destruction in the movie because of just how dangerous Hedorah is, killing a lot of people on screen just from flying above them, having its emissions destroy buildings and even reducing people to skeletons. Honestly, it can get really disturbing, but it's good to see so much of this tackled in the movie.

Now, how about Hedorah itself? This jerk is mean. Godzilla's had a lot of tough competitors and he's gonna have many more in the upcoming future, but I think Hedorah might be up there in the top three meanest opponents he's ever faced, and probably ever will face. Before their final battle, we see how much damage Hedorah can do, and we get a lot of science lessons on what exactly he is. He's a weird alien, thriving on pollution and is shown in basically cartoons eating up factories and drinking whale blood, and he just sits on smoke stacks absorbing all that lovely CO2. I don't think an exact explanation is given as to WHY he thrives on the pollution so much outside of the simple fact he does, and so, that's about all I got. But he can really get under your skin. From seeing him destroy buildings without basically any effort, reducing humans to bones, DUMPING HIMSELF ON A CAT and even making Godzilla almost pass out in their first battle, he's an evil monster, and clearly only sees humanity as a means to an end. And he only gets worse from there. My main highlight of Hedorah is that in their final battle, he throws Godzilla in a pit and just dumps his acid all over him. Godzilla just flails around helplessly, and it's actually kinda hard to watch. Only made worse when Hedorah starts laughing at Godzilla, taunting him and how helpless he really is in that moment. He does a lot of damage to Godzilla from there, burning one of Godzilla's eyes so badly he basically loses his eye, and eventually, he even reduces Godzilla's left hand to bone. He just kicks the crap out of him, and he's an absolute jerk and a really solid monster antagonist for the film. He's really hard to stop too. Basically if any cell of him continues to exist, it can potentially keep growing and just form another Hedorah. So when the final battle goes on and Godzilla has to kill him, he has to tear him apart. And tear him apart he does. Godzilla just tears into him, ripping out any part of Hedorah's body that has any moisture left. It's satisfying to watch him get the crap kicked out of him so thoroughly considering how bad we see him thrash Godzilla. He really is a pretty solid antagonist for the movie, which I think helps with the save the Earth message, because when a monster this evil is killing Godzilla, then imagine what it can do to us and the rest of the world!

One thing to note about the movie is just how freakishly weird it is. I mean, of course it's weird when you're dealing with a monster basically made purely out of pollution, but it doesn't even come close to stopping there. Honestly, if that was where it stopped, I would recommend this movie a lot faster. Check out this scene for example. It's just a little too trippy for my tastes with what feels like a drug hallucination just hanging over this scene like it thinks that's its job. The whole movie is plagued by really odd choices like this however. Godzilla's first appearance is set to the weirdest sounding "interpretation" of his theme EVER. And then when he physically shows up ('cause the first time he appears it's as like a dream or something), he appears as like this big black smudge in the sky made only clear by being filled in black. And it just keeps getting weirder. Honestly I'm not fully convinced I'm not high on Hedorah fumes myself, 'cause I think I might actually be hallucinating most of the stuff that happens in the movie. What I know for a fact I'm not hallucinating since everyone has seen it and it MUST be seen to be believed, let's talk about the greatest thing this movie has brought to the series: ladies and gentlemen, that's right. GODZILLA IS FLYING. Please forgive the link, it was honestly the only full clip of the scene I could find online and unedited. Regardless, watch the scene. Remember a few weeks ago when I was talking about how scary Godzilla is and how the first film is about nuclear devestation and about how we're not being good to our planet? Yeah. Here's where we are now. Thank you, Toho, truly.

I honestly feel like I can't really fully talk about Godzilla in this one. Honestly, this has got to be one of the weirdest appearances of the character to date. For his character and a film, it's just baffling that any of this actually was filmed, directed and released into theaters. Like, Godzilla! What did they do to you, man?! I can definitely say the suit used in this movie named Soshingekigoji is one of my favorites in the whole series. Of course we've seen it before with it appearing in Destroy All Monsters and Godzilla's Revenge, but I felt like it'd be best to mention it here. It's a really solid design of the character, especially with his face. Despite this being the era of Godzilla where he'd start applying and appealing towards kids more, this suit looks actually pretty serious and angry all the time, with a badass scowl permanently on his face. But it's just so hard to highlight in this movie because it is just so out there! And of course he does his standard Godzilla fare. He doesn't city stomp as much, he leaves that all to Headorah. But he still breaths the atomic breath and fights the monster, but that doesn't change the fact that he FLIES in this movie. No, I'm not getting over that. I never can and I never will. Fun fact, and an amusing little anecdote: I took a writing class my Senior Year of high school that culminated in writing a paper about something we're passionate about. I wrote on why Godzilla matters and should be taken more serious. I wanted to appeal to the fact people think Godzilla's weird, and maybe even a little stupid, so, I wanted to use a clip from a film. So, I did. I presented the scene, perfectly titled "Something You Don't See Everyday" to my class. And the jaws just dropped. It was hilarious.

So, that's Godzilla vs. Hedorah. Honestly, I can say I recommend it. It's got some of Godzilla's highest highs and lowest lows and gives us one of my favorite opponents he's ever faced. I can definitely give a warning to prepare yourself because of how W E I R D it is, but if you like weird stuff, then by all means. Grab the popcorn and start getting trippy, 'cause this one is a doozy.

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Tomorrow's gonna be a mixed bag. It's a movie I got a lot of nostalgia for, but I will be the first to openly admit it's one of the worst in the whole series, though it does have some positives. If you know what I mean, then you shouldn't be surprised that tomorrow we're diving into Godzilla vs. Gigan.

Space Amoeba - JURASSIC PARK WITH A BIG CRAB

So, fun fact! So far I've watched every movie in its native language. I just feel like the best way to properly enjoy the movie how was originally made is in its native language. That is to say, that was until it came to watching Space Amoeba, 'cause Amazon Prime doesn't have the movie in the original Japanese dub. It also adds in a bunch of stock sound effects to "liven it up," or something light that. This isn't really about the film itself, honestly. I just thought it was a fun little anecdote. So, how about the actual movie? Well, it sure is something. Honestly, Space Amoeba falls into the exact same department as King Kong Escapes where it's just utterly okay. It's not insulting or anything and it definitely is not one to remember. It just lives in the very unfortunate reality of pure kaiju mediocrity that it isn't one to be recommended.


After the unmanned mission to Jupiter named Helios 7 is commandeered by an alien entity named Yog, it makes its way to Earth, crashing just off of Sergio Island. From there, people journey to the Island and find themselves terrorized by three monsters, all creations of the monster Yog.

This movie is in the really unfortunate time to be the first Toho kaiju film to not have the masterful effects of Eiji Tsubaraya behind it. Eiji Tsubaraya passed away before the movie started filming, and so when it came to putting his own magic to the camera, he unfortunately wasn't able to. Tsubaraya was a pioneer and a master of monster effects, so, it isn't exactly a surprise then that the effects of Space Amoeba aren't exactly incredible or anything. Some of that definitely is on pressure from Toho who kept pressuring the crew to lower the budget of the film, and a lot of the film suffers as a result. Unfortunately effects get it worst are definitely the monsters. All of the monsters actually have a lot of moving parts about them. The turtle monster Kamoebas for example, having both an extendable neck and tongue. Gezora, the cuttlefish monster, has a lot of tentacles that flail about, kind of like all of Ghidorah's heads, and the crab monster Ganimes must have been really heavy, basically just being Ebirah that actually moves on land. But outside of Kamoebas who actually looks rather solid, they don't look really good. There's a bit of stiffness to both Gezora and Ganimes, at least I think. Ganimes doesn't look very good at all, and it's hard for him to stick out with a monster so similar to him in a setting so similar coming out just a few years prior with Godzilla vs the Sea Monster. Gezora meanwhile got strange cult popularity out of this movie, appearing in video games and comics and a few stock footage appearances that we'll talk about later. I say this is strange popularity, because he really is not that exciting. Honestly, I'm gonna call this one awash mainly because they came from the era where Toho kind of didn't have a lot of great ideas, and that's the same situation here. They're not really that creative or interesting to watch. It's a huge bummer, because they're also lose memorability by just being relegated to another island which at this point Toho kind of overused.

In terms of overusing, Toho actually has more overusing to answer for. This is the final film Toho made under their original system of holding actors to contracts. So if you ever thought to yourself "Man, we see some of the same actors a lot," well, that's because of Toho's system. This will be the final film that Akira Kubo will appear in in this marathon and series, and, well, I feel like I can't fully give a take on his performance due to watching a dub. So as to how he says his lines and what he gives in that department, I can provide no commentary. Honestly I feel like I can't fully talk about his performance at all because of A, the dub, and B, there isn't a lot to really talk about. I put Jurassic Park in the title mainly 'cause I feel like it's not a bad comparison between films, so I guess I gotta extend the metaphor. If this movie is trying to be Jurassic Park, then Kubo's character is, I guess, Dr. Grant? Not 'cause he's a scientist or anything, 'cause he definitely isn't. I just say that 'cause he's the straight man who jokes around a TINY BIT while being surrounded by a lot of characters. In terms of reusing, they chant of the Farou Islanders from King Kong vs Godzilla is even reused in this movie for the natives of Sergio Island. So, it's fun to hear it again, but it just screams lazy.

Honestly, there's not a lot to talk about with this one. It's just a really mediocre movie that is notable only for its monsters who lack memorability and mainly got mentioned because of their brief cameos in the future. This movie is more notable for being a bit of a culture shift for Toho. With Tsubaraya gone and Ishiro Honda largely moving on to directing television, Toho was seemingly running out of steam. So from here, we're gonna see the end of the first series and basically nothing but Godzilla from here on. So if you thought these monsters were fun and all but wanted the G-Man, don't worry. He's here to stay from just about here on. As for Space Amoeba, just don't watch it. It's boring and all around just really "Meh." Don't waste an hour and a half on a movie you won't remember in 10 minutes.

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Oooooooooooo, tomorrow it's on like Donkey Kong. It's time to give a hoot and not pollute. It's time to see the monstrous manifestation of how it is indeed not easy to be green. So come back tomorrow as we start getting trippy with Godzilla vs. Hedorah.

Godzilla's Revenge - "Best Hits"

Alright, this one's gonna be a speed round, folks. 'Cause I'm typing one paragraph and one paragraph only because that's what this lazy TERRIBLE movie deserves. Godzilla's Revenge or All Monsters Attack might technically be the worst film in the entire Godzilla franchise. All this movie is is shameless stock footage that is tried to pass off as a new movie. This isn't like a clip show where it's using clips from old episodes as a way to recap what has happened in the past. What they try using the footage here to do is try writing it all of as new battles and new fights. It's not. It is absolutely SHAMELESS use of stock footage to the highest extent. The only monsters with new scenes that were actually shot are Godzilla, Minilla, Kamacarus who gets new footage very briefly and the newly introduced monster, Gabara. Gabara is a terrible monster in every category, roar, powers, design, the list goes on and on. Gabara's main motive in the movie is just to bully Minilla to tell a message against bullying that is told subtly if you spell subtly like this. At least it wasn't going for subtlety, but even if it wasn't going for subtlety, it still is a boring movie. The human side of the movie is about Ichiro Miki, played Tomonori Yazaki. He gets bullied at school and is a fan of Godzilla, so one night he goes home alone and dreams of going to Monster Island where he meets Minilla, gets taught about how to stand up for himself and relives watching footage from older, better Godzilla movies. It's not like Ichiro is the worst human protagonist in the series or even an irritating kid, he just happens to be in perhaps the worst Godzilla movie and also makes some dumb decisions that get him into a lot of trouble. He also says his favorite monster is Minilla, so clearly he's not exactly the smartest kid either. Then after seeing Minilla and Godzilla fight Gabara in the dream world of Monster Island he goes into the real world, fights his bullies and takes on their dare learning a moral lesson about not ringing bicycle horns, I guess. Look, I can imagine this movie probably gets a right off from most fans with the excuse of "It's a kids movie." Look, you can write it off as just a kids movie, but if we're going by that logic and excuse Toy Story is supposedly "just a kids movie" and is also a good film because it was made with time and care and was made with effort. Trying to just say "it's a kids movie" is a subtle way to say "It's okay if it's bad" 'cause the kids don't care. Maybe, but kids deserve more movies like Toy Story or the Land Before Time. Toho clearly didn't care about making a good movie, let alone a good movie for kids. Godzilla's Revenge is abysmal, as a movie and a film for children. Don't waste your time and watch it. I'm mad now. This movie makes me mad.

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Tomorrow we're watching Space Amoeba. Have a great day.

Destroy All Monsters - In Which One Monster Gets Destroyed

This one's one of my personal favorites of the original series. Originally intended to end Toho's reputation as the monster movie factory, this movie is basically the Avengers. Not even hyperbole. What we get here is most of the characters the series and universe has already established, because unfortunately a few monsters do get left out, a villain we already have established who was basically the best villain we've had so far, and all of our favorite characters coming together to put an end to evil before it somehow gets even crazier. Destroy All Monsters is ambitious!... That is, in its final 10 minutes. The unfortunate truth of Destroy All Monsters is that while they do have solid build up and really do save the best for last, they REALLY save the best for last. But the thing that is good is that even while you are waiting, it's not a bad wait. We don't exactly get the greatest human story or anything, but it isn't terrible. So buckle your seatbelts, because we're in for a wild ride today!

At the end of the 20th century, the world is at peace. Technology is advancing fast, space is being explored at a rapid pace, and best of all, the monsters of the world are all contained. No longer do Godzilla, Anguirus, Rodan and other titans terrorize the world, as they all live safely and peacefully on Monster Island. That is until the Kilaak aliens come to Earth and demand the Earth be theirs. When their demands are not met, all the monsters are set free as the humans scramble to get the monsters back to Monster Island, keep as many people alive as possible, and get the Kilaak aliens off of Earth!



Alright, let's start this off with by FAR the best thing about the movie: the monsters. With a total of 11 monsters in the film, this really is the royal rumble. What's even crazier is that there were supposed to be more, with Ebirah, Maguma, Kamacarus, Sanda and Gaira all to appear in the film as well. And while it is unfortunate they didn't make an appearance, we got almost all of the monsters established in the series so far and with TWO exceptions, they all get some pretty solid treatment. Those two exceptions being Varan and Baragon. If you've seen the movie, or are fans of the monsters, you know those two got shafted HARD in this movie. Which is unfortunate, but only about an hour and a half of total movie to watch, someone was bound to get some crap. So, what to we get instead? Well, we get to see Rodan and Godzilla become villains again, Manda actually gets some screen time, has a really solid puppet AND actually does more than get killed, Gorosaurus became a fan favorite kaiju and Anguirus reminded the world became one of the mainstay monsters of the original series, taking hits from Ghidorah and being a guard dog for the Kilaaks. Almost all of the monsters get really fair treatment here. Even Minilla! If you hated Minilla in Son of Godzilla, I can't say you'll end up loving him in this one or anything, but he does actually contribute to the final battle and is just one of the many monsters who helps kick the crap out of Ghidorah. Oh, and Ghidorah, who doesn't appear until the final few minutes of the movie get some pretty good screentime before he gets killed. While it definitely is a bummer than we didn't get every monster, and not every monster received perfect treatment, almost all of them do get some decently solid treatment and that's not something to snuff at. The only issue is that the monsters aren't actually in the movie that much. Sure, we do get some battle scenes between the monsters and the military and we see them wipe out a few cities, but they don't exactly take command of the plot. That falls on the human cast.

For a movie called Destroy All Monsters, we actually don't all that much monster action. Instead what most of the movie really is is the humans reacting to what COULD happen and dealing with the alien conspiracy, while we get some action of the monsters cut in between every once and awhile. And you know what? I don't actually hate this approach. What this movie is plot wise is basically Invasion of the Astro Monster, if that movie was cranked up to 11. So, we spend most of our time with the human cast. So, how do they do? Not that bad, honestly. Pictured are my two favorite human characters in the movie, the Kilaak Queen, played by Kyoko Ai (pictured left), and Captain Katsuo Yamabe, played Akira Kubo (pictured right). Let's talk about Kubo first. Kubo got a lot of great roles throughout the original series, and unfortunately outside of one of upcoming movies, this is the last we'll be seeing him. So, how's his second to last impression. I think it's strong. He gets by far his most active role in the series, being one of the first characters we meet and part of the Kilaak's ultimate destruction. Kubo gets a lot out of this character and even though the writing can be a little weak sometimes, what we get is a pretty solid performance. He gets to vary a lot in emotion, showing a really happy smile when talking to his sister at the beginning of the movie, and later on we get to see him in a bit of an intense scene of him destroying a major Kilaak device. He gets a lot out of a pretty simple, almost boy scout character. He has a lot of talent, and it really is no surprise he got to be in some Kurosawa movies. Now, as for the Kilaak Queen, I think I just like the cold calculated villain. I think what's interesting is the Kilaaks and the Kilaak Queen actually remind me a lot of the Muans and the Muan Priest from Atragon. I think what separates them however is the Kilaak Queen actually backs up her confidence in her plan. Launching her attack so early and being so well defended for most of the movie, you start to hate her and how confident she is in her plan. So when the Kilaaks lost and she gets her comeuppance, there's a bit of happiness and a feeling of "Yeah, take that! This is our planet, jerk!" Now, she's not going down as an all time great villain or anything. But for what she does do and how confident she is in her evil, she is a delight to watch.

This movie's got some of the best city destruction in the entire series. With so many monsters in so many different locations and a budget that adjusted for inflation is around $13,000,000, it'd better look good! And it really does. For one, all of the suits and puppets no matter how long they're on screen look better than ever. And the sets here are magnificent as well. I gave a lot of props and praise to the miniatures in War of the Gargantuas, and those are still fantastic, but the ones here are just stellar. See the picture of Gorosaurus destroying the Arc de Triomphe for example. Painstaking detail and care went into getting all the etchings of such a famous landmark perfect and they look great. And this is just the start. Other landmarks like Moscow's Kremlin and the United Nations Headquarters that Godzilla blasts the hell out of all look stellar, and for some of them they really didn't need to make them look so good as they only appear on screen for a brief amount of time. There was a lot of time and care made into every effect in the movie that if this actually was the grand finale, I think this would have been a satisfactory ending to the series. Thank Toho it isn't though, 'cause we're nowhere near done.

In short, I like Destroy All Monsters a lot. I like it more than a lot of other G-Fans and I get why. I definitely can see why and in part agree with people who say it doesn't focus on the monsters enough. But what we actually get is a pretty solid human plot and then once we do get the monsters, we get some of the best effects of the entire original series. This movie is JUST shy of my top 10 that we'll see later, so, hate to kill the hype so soon. But, I like this one a lot. Solid recommendation from me!

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Tomorrow we're entering a dark era, folks. After Destroy All Monsters, Toho thought it was abundantly clear from the audience approval and box office return that people wanted more Godzilla. So they decided to keep making more. And make more they did. What comes next is one of the worst movies of the series with a bad monster, LAME human plot and perhaps the most lazy filmmaking in the entire series. I hope you're as prepared as I am scared to revisit All Monsters Attack, or as I have known it my whole life: Godzilla's Revenge.

King Kong Escapes - It's a Movie

Boy do we have a movie to talk about today. Here's the thing about King Kong Escapes. I just don't know how to talk about it, honestly. It's not like it's the worst movie in the world or anything, and it isn't very good. It's just kinda there. It doesn't have anything super positive and it doesn't have anything incredibly negative. So far my scale of these reviews has been easy. Godzilla has been the best movie we've watched. Easily, and beyond a shadow of a doubt, and on the exact opposite end of the spectrum, I'd say Varan has been the worst, or at very least the movie I've been most overtly critical of. And everything about King Kong Escapes is perfectly in the middle. It is about as mediocre as these movies have been, and probably will end up being. So, I guess I gotta hand it to Toho? I don't know, let's just get on with it.

The evil scientist Doctor Who is digging in the Arctic for the radioactive Element X with his giant robot, Mechani-Kong. After the robot breaks down and the real Kong is freed from Who's captivity, it's only a matter of time until the two Kongs meet and do battle in downtown Tokyo.

So, the thing about this one is that while the plot synopsis I included is just about the best I can cover, it's not the entire plot. King Kong Escapes is not a sequel to King Kong vs. Godzilla at all, nor anywhere close to a followup to the original film. All it is is an adaptation of the Rankin/Bass cartoon, the King Kong Show. I've never watched the show at all, so I can't base any of my opinions off of it as an adaptation. So purely as a Kong film, what do I think? Well, it very much is a rehash of the original King Kong. But instead it throws in Doctor Who and Element X, and because of that it gets a little. The main point of the movie gets really lost at times if it actually has one. Honestly as the movie shakes out, it basically is just a coincidence Kong and Mechani-Kong ever actually end up fighting each other. So basically what we have is a watered down remake of King Kong that isn't actually a remake of King Kong? It's weird. It's really weird.


So, wanna talk about some humans? Okay, why not? Dr. Who is the best. Yes, for your information, I am a Whovian, so calling him Dr. Who is a bit odd, but whatever. Mainly 'cause he isn't the Doctor? I don't know, no more Doctor Who. Played by Hideyo Amamoto (pictured right), this dude is just an absolute cornball. If you've ever sat back and said to yourself "Man, I need essentially a Bond villain in my giant monster movie," where, here we have one! Now. I will definitely say. In no way shape or form is he an all time great villain ESPECIALLY not of this series, but he's just really fun to watch. He's confident, he's stupid, he comes up with the most ridiculous schemes in the world to basically just dig for a rare element. I know he definitely was intended to be this ridiculous. The dude is an adaptation of a cartoon character, after all. So seeing him in the movie, it's great. He's a really enjoyable character to watch. I can definitely say you'll need to see and judge for yourself, but that's my take.

Monsters? You bet this movie's got 'em. Gorosaurus, one of the most criminally underrated kaiju in the entire series makes his debut in the movie as the token dinosaur that Kong kills. I mean, you seen King Kong? 'Cause that's Gorosaurus. He even gets his jaw ripped in half life the meat-eater in King Kong. So I'm not being hyperbolic when I definitely do say that you've seen him before. Because we have seen him before. How about Mechani-Kong? Well, he sure exists. There's not a ton that actually makes him distinct, let alone from Kong. But he's not exactly a bad monster and/or opponent. He's got a light on his head later on that he uses to distract Kong and disorient him, a loud speaker to communicate with Kong, smoke grenades or flares, I think? I only remember him using them like once. It's never explained why exactly Mechani-Kong was built to look like and basically be Kong. I guess Doctor Who just saw the mech trend coming before anyone else. Nothing about Mechani-Kong is particularly cool or interesting at all, except maybe his roar, but even then it's not that much.

Now, some folks might have noted and would be astute in seeing I haven't really touched on Kong yet. Well, here he is. First of all, Kong still looks like garbage. Especially in the face department. Now, I will say his face does look better, but I mean, if you stuff a roadkill squirrel, you'll still be able to see a tire mark. I've read other reviews that say this is the worst Kong of all time, and even though I definitely say this is the worst LOOKING Kong of all time, he's genuinely not that bad of a Kong. Yeah, he looks like a doofus and he flails his arms around a lot, but he doesn't get a bad shake. Because this movie is basically a loose remake of the original King Kong, he gets to go through a lot of his origin story, just remixed to fit the Toho Studios brand. He still is attracted to a blonde girl in Susan Watson (played by Julie Bennet), and he gets to go through a lot of landmark Kong activities. Fighting dinosaurs and climbing giant buildings and going on a rampage in one of the capitals of the World, so that's all well and good. His largest issues honestly is that this movie is unsure if it should go full remake of King Kong or apparently a better adaptation of the King Kong Show. The movie is confused, and when the movie is confused, so is Kong. Kong is confused and confusing. And that is a bummer. He looks like a doofus and acts like a doofus for a lot of the time, but no, he isn't a terrible Kong. And nor is this a terrible movie. Kong, like this movie is just middle of the ground. He's just purely okay.

Talking about a movie like this is difficult because it isn't good and it isn't bad. But because of that, I just can't recommend it. Even with the worst movies in this series and even some of the worst movies of all time, there is something to be enjoyed. And with some of the movies ever and the best on this list, well, they're the best for a reason. This one, there just isn't a lot to gain or lose. It's just a wasted two hours. So, I think this is definitely the single most skippable movie so far. There just isn't enough here to recommend it. Sorry Kong, you deserve better. But take a break, kick back and relax, and I promise the next time we see you, it's gonna be awesome.

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Alright, my most sincere apologies! This one went up late because I've been getting it handed to me in school the last week or so, so maintaining this blog has been hard. But, I promise. We're back on track now and we can be excited again! But I am of course very sorry about the delay. So, tomorrow, I hope you'll return as we watch one I really enjoy: Destroy All Monsters!

Son of Godzilla - They Skipped Bride of Godzilla

Now, look. Usually, people have a similar line of thinking when it comes to Godzilla. We all got those movies that we know are the classics, which ones are the stinkers and which ones are just okay. But among EVERY G-Fan, you will find one movie opinion that is odder than the rest. I've seen someone on reddit say "GMK is overrated," "Vs. Mechagodzilla is a bad movie, and especially bad Godzilla movie!" With a series this old and with as many films as it has, I can guarantee that no one's list will be a perfect overlap. I mean, people get into arguments over Pixar movies, and compared to Toho's kaiju series, Pixar isn't as prolific. Point being, not everyone is going to agree on every film in the series. And that's awesome, because it breeds conversation and keeps the community discussing and active. And that is good and healthy. And I can promise you, I got an oddball pick. Well, that is to say, this is my oddball pick. Oh yeah, you read that right folks. Despite the flaws it does have and the things it has going against, you better believe I actually do not hate one of the most hated movies in the entire series. Because my entire life as a G-Fan, I have never been able to force myself to hate Son of Godzilla. 

A team of scientists ventures to the distant Island of Solgell to study its climate in hopes of helping future generations have more food. But on this Island roams giant monsters, included among them is Godzilla. But the population of the island soon will go up by one as an ancient egg carrying the baby of Godzilla's species is soon born. Becoming the baby's surrogate father, it is now up to Godzilla to keep the new baby, Minilla, safe and teach him how to become a monster like him one day. But who will get to the baby first? The giant preying mantis named Kamacarus, or the evil spider, Kumonga? It's Man vs. Nature vs. Monster as Godzilla learns the trials and tribulations of a new foe: parenthood!

So... I'm gonna be on the defense for this entire review. I know I am, and I think it's important to address that right off the bat. This movie tends to get a lot of crap, and I will die on this mountain with pride. So, with that in mind, how 'bout Minilla, huh? Look, I can't lie. I understand why everyone is so standoffish towards the guy. I understand he doesn't look like his dad. I understand he makes irritating noises. I understand that he's stupid. I understand that he gets worse. But you know what? He's NEVER bothered me. First and foremost n the looks department. Here's the deal: HE'S A BABY! OF COURSE HE DOESN'T FULLY LOOK LIKE GODZILLA YET! I MEAN, LOOK AT BABY PICTURES OF YOURSELF! YOU WOULD BE SHOCKED AT HOW NOT HUMAN YOU LOOKED AT A YOUNG AGE! AND IN THIS MOVIE, THIS LITTLE DUDE RANGES FROM BEING A FEW MINUTES TO A FEW DAYS OLD. OF COURSE HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE GODZILLA YET! LET HIM GROW UP! Honestly, I can leave my entire review at just that. Here's the deal, Minilla, who is never actually named in the movie is hated by many. And I hear about it all the time, and I get it, and people will be entitled to their opinions for the rest of time, but this is a defense, darn it! And I'll defend him all I want! Because here's the thing, I even have a little bit of disliking for Minilla in some aspects. But I can't really hate him that much. He's just a stupid little baby. Of course he makes stupid sounds, of course he looks stupid. But he's also a baby. And it's actually kind of fun to watch him in this movie! He goes through some serious development through the movie that actually makes for a good arc. Born into violence, raised in violence and almost dying in it, he gets it handed to him throughout a majority of the movie. I don't hate Minilla because I pity the guy. I mean, look at him. Is that the face of a monster who asked to be alive? No, it isn't. And yet throughout the movie he insists on learning, getting bigger and better and hopefully one day learning how to properly fire his atomic breath. And besides, as far as Babygodzillas go, this is far from the worst version of the character. He gets better with time (with one exception), and I just can't hate Minilla. I'm sorry, but I just count. And since he's who the movie is centered around and the main point of criticism for the whole movie, I felt it important to talk about him right off the bat. Because I don't hate him.

OKAY, so with that out of the way, let's dive into some actual meat and potatoes then. And by that I mean the other monsters. Well, first and foremost, this Godzilla is definitely better than the one we got from the Sea Monster,  but not by much. His suit is one of the worst looking of the entire series like he was getting smacked in the middle of a Mortal Kombat fatality. Well, I am being mean because I did somewhat intentionally use a picture he doesn't look great in, but even in other shots, he just doesn't look great. But he's still better than the one from the version we got from the Sea Monster, largely because this one has a different story to go through. Instead of being thrown into a movie he probably shouldn't have really been in, Godzilla gets a pretty solid story for him this time around. He spends a lot of the movie defending Minilla, I mean, the little dude's a baby, so it only makes sense, but we actually do see him evolve in the movie. He actually has a character arc in the movie! After he saves Minilla the first time from the Kamacarus, the first thing he does is (albeit probably on accident) smacks him with his tail. And the poor little guy just cries and waits for his dad to come back. And then once he does he gives him a fun ride on his tail and it's nice and cute. He goes through some serious growing in the movie, like no joke. He starts as kind of a mean dad, whacking his son multiple times, even threatening to hit him when he can't properly figure out how to use his atomic breath. But as he spends more time with Minilla, you see him grow more attached to him and being a better dad. Not worrying about Minilla using his tail as jump rope and holding him close in the final minutes as the island freezes from the experiment gone awry. Godzilla usually has a very defined character in the movies, and honestly he gets a great character journey in this one that makes watching even easier because you see him actually grow more and more, which is a really big plus. Now, of course. This isn't like an arc written by Shakespeare or anything. It's a solid arc, but it isn't amazing or anything.

Of course, because Godzilla can't just be a single dad working hard to make a living for him and his son, you had better believe there are other giant monsters on the island. And while I won't give them as much crap as I did Ebirah and the Giant Condor, I can definitely say they're still not very original. Kamacarus is just a pack of giant praying mantis that you see ravage Godzilla, Minilla and some of the humans very early on. They aren't particularly scary and are dispatched easily. As far as Godzilla antagonists go, they basically just kind of exist. He just beats the crap out of them over and over. Simple, and not exactly fully effective because they never even really put up much of a fight, but they're not that bad or anything. Without even a second thought, I can confirm Kumonga works a lot better. I mean, for one there's only one of him, so he's a bit more menacing. But also because he actually poses more of a threat. Later when he captures Kamacarus and Minilla, we see him just easily dispense the Kamacarus, and with Minilla getting it handed to him from them earlier and him being a baby, it's clear Kumonga can do the same thing. He isn't exactly a riveting villain or anything, but he does his job. Just a big spider who poses a threat. Yeah, these last two haven't exactly been great for monsters at all, but, I mean, what are you gonna do?

Unlike vs. the Sea Monster, however, this movie doesn't have a super great human plot. Instead, the humans are more so just kind of serviceable. An exception however being reporter Goro Maki, played by Akira Kubo. Like with the other roles Kubo got during the Showa era, he does a really solid job with what he was given. This might be my favorite character of his however, because I just think he's downright hilarious. He's a reporter who was just flying over the Island and after basically getting a stomach ache said "There's a story afoot!" So he parachutes down to the Island and just sticks around because the option is either help the scientists out or find a become an Olympic level swimmer to get back to Japan. There's no other way to put it: this guy is crazy. While saying he jumps out of an airplane for a story isn't the full truth, it's definitely a fun part of it. Yet when he gets down there he becomes really subservient all because he realizes he made kind of a dumb decision in parachuting down to the island that was rather sectioned off and very clearly not intended for the public. He's such a moron and I love him for it.


All in all, Son of Godzilla really isn't terrible, nor is it amazing. It has some pretty solid positives, and it's not going to be in anyone's top 10 favorite Godzilla movies or anything, not even mine, but it's still an enjoyable one. Some people hate this one and think it's one of the worst, and I might get that. But all I see when I watch the movie is a silly comedy about Godzilla learning how to be a good dad. And that's just lovely if you ask me.

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Tomorrow is gonna be one of our last non-Godzilla movies for a nice chunk of time and is going to be the last time we hear from Kong before King of the Monsters comes out. So, make sure to comeback tomorrow as we enjoy a silly little movie called King Kong Escapes.